Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 11:19 am Post subject: Humorous & Interesting News Stories
Use this thread for any local, national, or international news items that you find amusing and would like to share.
I got the following from our local news this morning:
Irving man charged with drunken driving on mower
Updated: 05/12/08 8:47 AM
Chautauqua County sheriff's deputies have charged a 58-year-old Irving man with drunken driving … on a lawn mower.
Deputies dispatched early today to an Irving residence to remove an intoxicated man from the home spotted the man riding his lawn mower away from the scene and stopped him shortly after 1 a.m. today.
They charged Merwin C. Pierce Jr. with felony driving while intoxicated and aggravated unlicensed operation, among other charges. Sheriff's officials said the felony charge was lodged because of a previous DWI conviction.
Last edited by BuffaloSS on Thu Jun 05, 2008 11:18 am; edited 1 time in total
Seriously!.... That is not a typo... Last night in District 30 Anderson County jumped out to a 32-0 lead after the first inning. The game was called after five innings due to the 10 run-rule. There's a lot of discussion about this game obviously because of the score. The way I look at it; there's just absolutely no reason for this. Eminence is a school with 375 students and that's including middle school and females. As the opposition, you have to know this going into the game. Have you ever heard of getting JV players experience? I'm sure Eminence's team is not exactly a juggernaut this year, but I have to think that their pitcher was able to get it to the catcher. Why were these guys not swinging at any pitch that isn't over the backstop or bouncing halfway between the mound and home? I am definitely against purposely striking out or giving yourself up because it is more embarassing than getting beat 58-0, but I remember when we had big leads coaches would tell you to be up at the plate swinging. As I understand it, Anderson had many many walks last night, and obviously if they weren't walking they were hitting. I would have had my kids working on bunting hitting the other way and not taking any pitches. Also, any guy that is able to swing from the other side of the plate without being a total embarassment would have the green light to do so. I just don't see how you can beat a team 58-0!!!
What do you think? Is this Anderson's fault? or am I completely offbase and we should be criticizing the coaches and players at Eminence?
By the way these two teams are in the same district so they are required to play each other...
Texas Cops: 3 Dig Up Corpse To Use Skull As A Bong
HOUSTON (AP) ― Three teenagers were arrested after two of them told police they dug up a secluded grave north of Houston, removed the skull from the coffin and converted it into a marijuana bong.
Police found a grave in the city of Humble that had been disturbed, but were still investigating the rest of the teens' story, Houston police Sgt. John Chomiak said.
Kevin Wade Jones, 17, and Matthew Richard Gonzalez, 17, both of Kingwood, were arrested Wednesday night and were being held on misdemeanor charges of abuse of a corpse, Chomiak said. The juvenile was referred to the Harris County juvenile justice system.
A woman who answered the phone at Gonzalez's home declined comment. A telephone number for Jones could not immediately be found, and it wasn't clear from court records if either had an attorney.
Police were interviewing Jones about the use of a stolen debit card when he told them about the grave theft, which purportedly occurred around March 15, according to court documents. Asked why Jones would volunteer such a story, Chomiak said, "We can only speculate and guess to what goes on in the criminal mind."
Gonzalez confirmed the story to investigators in a follow-up interview. Police were led to a heavily wooded site in Humble where they found a knocked-over headstone and water-filled hole more than 4 feet deep. At the time, the muddy water did not allow police to see if the coffin had been disturbed.
"They dug into this gravesite and that was enough to warrant the abuse of corpse charge," Chomiak said. "There has to be further investigation into the actual gravesite."
Police believe the grave is that of an 11-year-old boy who died in 1921. Preliminary reports indicate it was part of a 19th-century veterans cemetery, Chomiak said. While residents in the area knew of the cemetery's existence, it did not appear to be maintained.
Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far. - Teddy Roosevelt
I think I saw that on SNL...pretty freakin amazing what a pothead will do to get high
And while this isn't at all humorous, we had some excitement last night from a retired GM Tool-and-Die operator from the Tonawanda Engine Plant here in Buffalo. A 3-hour standoff on the thruway until SWAT took him down safely:
Police: Texas man trying to cash $360 billion check arrested Fri May 2, 10:18 AM ET
FORT WORTH, Texas - Charles Ray Fuller must have been planning one big record company.
The 21-year-old North Texas man was arrested last week for trying to cash a $360 billion check, saying he wanted to start a record business, authorities said. Tellers at the Fort Worth bank were immediately suspicious — perhaps the 10 zeros on a personal check tipped them off, according to investigators.
Fuller, of suburban Crowley, was arrested on a forgery charge, police said. He was released after posting $3,750 bail.
Fuller said his girlfriend's mother gave him the check to start a record business, but bank employees who contacted the account's owner said the woman told them she did not give him permission to take or cash the check, according to police.
In addition to forgery, Fuller was charged with unlawfully carrying a weapon and possessing marijuana, Fort Worth police Lt. Paul Henderson said.
Officers reported finding less than 2 ounces of marijuana and a .25-caliber handgun and magazine in his pockets, police said.
Fuller couldn't be located for comment by The Associated Press on Friday because there were no phone listings for him in the Fort Worth area.
_________________ "My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."
Jesus created the internet and puppies and dandelions and kittens and sunny days and lollipops and impalas and turbochargers and pizza and beer and wings and boobies and blowjobs and pizza and pizza and pizza and beer and snow days and football and cheerleaders and drag radials and nascar and everything else that's awesome.
It's hard to find retards of this quality in such masses. It's truly amazing.
TOKYO - A homeless woman who sneaked into a man's house and lived undetected in his closet for a year was arrested in Japan after he became suspicious when food mysteriously began disappearing.
Police found the 58-year-old woman Thursday hiding in the top compartment of the man's closet and arrested her for trespassing, police spokesman Hiroki Itakura from southern Kasuya town said Friday.
The resident of the home installed security cameras that transmitted images to his mobile phone after becoming puzzled by food disappearing from his kitchen over the past several months.
One of the cameras captured someone moving inside his home Thursday after he had left, and he called police believing it was a burglar. However, when they arrived they found the door locked and all windows closed.
"We searched the house ... checking everywhere someone could possibly hide," Itakura said. "When we slid open the shelf closet, there she was, nervously curled up on her side."
The woman told police she had no place to live and first sneaked into the man's house about a year ago when he left it unlocked.
She had moved a mattress into the small closet space and even took showers, Itakura said, calling the woman "neat and clean."
Automatic car features are supposed to make life easier for motorists, but they may be leaving some people without the know-how to do things the old-fashioned way. That’s what happened to a driver in Utah County who became trapped inside her own car.
A woman called Orem police Friday afternoon needing help because her battery died and she was locked inside her car.
When police arrived, they found the woman sitting in the car, unable to get herself out. She couldn’t hear the officers instructions through the rolled-up windows so she motioned to them to call her on her cell phone, according to police.
Once officers were able to talk to the woman on the phone, they were able to tell her how to manually operate the slide lock mechanism on the inside door panel to open the door and free herself.
“I'm just glad she had a cell phone to call for help,” an officer said.
Daytona Beach - Nearly 100 cars sank and became stuck in unusually soft sand on Daytona Beach, forcing beach patrol officers to close parts of the beach to all vehicles.
“I have not seen it this bad in my lifetime," Beach patrol Capt. Tim Cunningham said. "Right now, the sand is like powder. It is just months and months of no rain.”
Beach patrol officers made more rescues on the sand than in the water on Sunday when groups of vehicles became stuck. “You're stuck trying to get the wheels to go and trying to get the car to move and you get no where,” motorist George Cabrera said. Cunningham said conditions on what is known as the world's most famous beach have been getting worse over the years. The most vehicles were stuck in the sand when high tide came in Sunday.
Beach patrol officers said they expect more problems Monday because of the soft sand along the coastline.
_________________ maybe we should chug on over to mamby pamby land
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